Running Waters, Silver Plains

If the work of Christ is finished at the Cross, why are we still repenting from dead works?
If the work of Christ is finished at the Cross, why are we still trying to earn God's approval?
If the work of Christ is finished at the Cross, why are we still trying to earn our blessings from God?

Is the work of Christ at the Cross finished or is it not?

I am disgusted with Churches that preach that to earn God's blessings, we must give to Him. Isn't that trying to bribe God?

I am disgusted with Churches that preach that if you don't give to God, you will not be blessed. Didn't the Scriptures say that Jesus took all of our sins and penalties upon Himself? Why is God still punishing us for not giving financially? Something must be wrong here.

I am disgusted with Churches that encourage members to pray, fast, tithe, attend meetings so many days in a week in order to be promoted to a leadership position. Didn't the Scriptures mentioned the phrase "It is finished!"

Are you serving God to be promoted to be a leader or are you serving God because you are an approved worker of God?

(C) 2006,2007,2008,2009 Absolutely Daniel Yoleh.

Its Good Friday, What Does It Mean For Yoleh?

Yes, its Good Friday today. I'm sorry I turned down the invitations from two friends to attend their Church's Easter service, I'm quite disappointed another friend failed to remember her promise to call me as I had agreed to attending Easter service with her.

A short introduction to Good Friday:
Firstly, what is Good Friday about? Good Friday commemorates the day Jesus died on the Cross after being crucified to save all men lost in their sins to reconcile them to God through His blood that was shed.

Secondly, how is Good Friday celebrated by Christians worldwide? Christians worldwide celebrate this occasion by attending Church services (most Churches term this service as Good Friday / Easter Service).

All right, with this I shall start on today's topic, "Its Good Friday, What Does It Mean For Yoleh?":

Besides the usual staying at home doing virtually nothing (except writing this blog post, haha), Good Friday brings back sad memories for Yoleh. The times Yoleh was bullied, mistreated, misunderstood while he was still attending City Harvest Church all come back to memory. Yoleh may have said that he has forgiven those Christians but still he can't forget those hurtful and painful memories, especially the so-called friends who stopped contacting him since he left City Harvest Church. But still, Yoleh must live on, now a free thinker, not associating himself with the term "Christian". Yoleh still prays and talks to God though, so don't anyhow label him a backslider thank you.

Yoleh is happy and glad at the same time that a few true friends (less than 3) including his godmum still ask him out / keep contact with him over MSN. Yoleh has had lost faith in Churches in general but he still believes God is still his Shepherd and will never leave him nor forsake him till the very end.

Yoleh has seen the worst of Christians especially the Church and believes that people from outside of the Church are much much better than those inside caught up with the "God bless me, God prosper me" attitudes. Yoleh was and is still angry with Christians who claim that God wants everyone of His children to prosper financially and become rich, affluent "Christians". Yoleh himself had had given money to the offerings, tithes and building funds in City Harvest Church for years and still isn't a "millionaire" and remains skeptical of these wrong teachings in the Church. Yes, giving in itself is nothing wrong, but when the Church motivates the sheep to give for the wrong reasons, that is not just morally but also spiritually wrong!

Yoleh scoffs at Christians who insist that Church services should be attended every week without fail. Why? Nowhere in the Bible says that Church services should and must be attended weekly without fail! Yes, the Bible did state that in the early days of the Church, the Churchgoers met in the Church daily, but look at the historical context and social context of that time.

Yoleh also does not like any Church that wants its members to give utmost devotion and commitment to: Attend Bible studies, cellgroups, prayer meetings, evangelistic outreaches, outings, services all in just 1 week and this happens virtually every week!

Yoleh finds it tiring to drag himself to Church service, cellgroup every week! Some Christians even chided him for not being "commited to the Church and God" for doing so!

Yoleh was particularly unhappy about a leader who accused him of "not loving God, not having a heart for God" just because he couldn't attend a Church seminar due to a camp while in National Service!

Yoleh is thankful that there were some Christians who responded to his previous post on this topic, reminding him that not all Christians are black sheep but Yoleh still has to get it off his chest the injustice he had to go through all those years.

Yoleh believes that a Church should be balanced in its teachings, sticking to the Word of God without selfish motivations and adhere to the teachings of Jesus to be humble and not tell its members that it is the best Church in the country and put down other Churches!

Yoleh is being angry for the right reasons here. Disagree with him, Yoleh doesn't care the least about this for he is telling the TRUTH.

(C) 2006,2007,2008,2009 Absolutely Daniel Yoleh.

Grace

What is real grace like? Some relate it to Religion, others relate it a state of self and for me, I relate it to a given privilege.

I was very unhappy the past few weeks with a lot of people who made use of me for their own personal gains, from schoolmates who never said a single word of appreciation for the past year exam solutions I e-mailed out to everyone, to people talking to me with no respect at all for me as a person to people who keep asking me to do this and that for them and never once doing anything back for me.

I thought that at that breaking point, I could not trust anyone anymore until Grace came into my life in unexpected ways. (I thank God for His grace even
when I no longer regard myself as a Christian, and yup, I don't like most Christians now.)

A few of my online friends stood up for me when they realised that I was very depressed over these matter of constantly getting bullied and made use of by jerks.
I then realised that there was still some hope left in trusting people.

It's hard having to juggle with coping with my illness (the side effects, the sleeplessness, the irritation, the fears, the worries, the uncertainties) along with my studies (yes, I get exam fears like anyone else but I get them on a higher scale due to my illness) with friends who left me because our beliefs/values do not click to people who left me fuming mad because they like to take advantage of me.
Then and there God reminded me that He is faithful and always will be.

Thank God its holidays now for the next 7 weeks.

So in conclusion, does Grace appear visible only in times of peace and wellness? Absolutely NOT I'd say. Grace is the provision of God that sustains me even in times of turmoil and distress when I do not feel Him near at all and yet there He is, always waiting for me.

So what do I have to say to those naysayers, jerks and leeches? Get a life, I'm getting mine back by the way.

I'll make myself more happy than before, I'm a living proof that people who suffer from Schizophrenia can do well in life too and even better that normal people.

(C) 2006,2007,2008,2009 Absolutely Daniel Yoleh.

Is Christianity Reliable?

My own personal answer would be a NO. Only God is reliable, Christianity is not reliable.

Christianity at its essence is the heart of God to win the lost into the Kingdom of God.

Christianity in its many packages is just mere show. With Christian concerts, Christian theatre, Christian markets etc, what use are they?



The only use is when they not only impact people, but leave people with the image that God is concerned with society and community.

I've heard stories of people going to Church for the music, for the songs, for the friends, for the preaching but I never once heard any of them say they go to Church for the One who created them.

I don't care about Christians labelling me as a backslider, a Churchleaver, an ex-Christian, all those are just baseless name-calling.

I don't like a lot of Christians for the way they treated me in the past when I was still in Church and I now see people in a different light.

People, even Christians, can never be 100% trustworthy, not even a Pastor. I guess thats why the Bible says to put our trust in God and not men.



I believe Jesus didn't die on the Cross so that we can attend a rock concert, or go to the most happening Church event in town. He died so that we can know Him, experience His grace and love and be with Him for eternity.

What I do not like about Churches in general is that they conceptualise Church services as "either you go or you don't love God."

My take as an "ex-Christian", if you really love the people God loves, show it not for the sake of winning "Top Evangelist of the Month" but for the love of Christ.

(C) 2006,2007,2008,2009 Absolutely Daniel Yoleh.

My Thoughts On Christians and Churches

Being a former member of City Harvest Church made my eyes open to many things about Christians and churches in general:

1.) Leaders even being leaders will still say and do the wrong things: I've had my fair share of accusations from a cell-group leader of things I didn't do that hurt me badly when I was in his cell-group. It wasn't only that cell-group leader, it was also the members which brings me to my next point...

2.) Christians like you and me will never be perfect no matter how "godly" they claim to be. If any Christian on this earth can be 100% godly, he/she can be god (not God).

3.) Certain doctrines that makes you feel uncomfortable are warning signs. Don't mistake me on this, if you are constantly sinning and your church pastor preaches on sin, you should feel uncomfortable. However, I'm talking about doctrines that makes you question if your church is teaching the right stuff. Examples being the church pastor preaching week after week on financial blessings without any stress on the need for taming the flesh or being obedient to Christ's will instead of only thinking how "God will bless me if I give".

4.) If a church is not meeting your needs, its best to consider other options. If the Christians you know are always playing a "holier-than-thou" attitude, its best to make new contacts instead.

5.) If what many Christians from Mega Churches claim is true, I should have been a millionaire by now. I sowed or rather gave a lot throughout my years in City Harvest Church. So did I sin grossly somewhere that God doesn't want to bless me to be a millionaire?

6.) The recent Asia Conference organised by City Harvest Church raised some alarms among the internet Christian community here in Singapore as one of the key speakers was none other than Benny Hinn who has been drawing lots of flak for his extravagant ways and "where is the medical evidence for the supposedly healed people healed by his healing anointing". I personally attended two of his healing crusades here in Singapore and on both occassions, I was not healed of both my double vision and backpain. I felt doubtful towards God about this.

7.) The true Christian friends, actually no, the true friends who will stick with you is when you no longer attend church and they still call you a brother/sister/friend. I am grateful for the brothers/sisters/friends who still keep in contact with me even though I am no longer a member of any church.

8.) I am beginning to disagree with what Ho Yeow Sun is doing more and more. Don't ask me why, I wouldn't tell you if you were her supporter. I like her Mandarin songs, but seeing all these (undisclosed), I began to doubt what she is doing now.

9.) Follow your faith but don't follow the people who lead you to the wrong faith or rather, doctrines. Stay close to God and let Him lead you. Like what a brother once said to me, ask God to guard your heart.

10.) Satan is as real as God is. He appears in even Christians.

(C) 2006,2007,2008 Absolutely Daniel Yoleh.

When Christian Leaders Have Wronged You

There was an incident in the past when my cellgroup leader accused me of not having a heart for God and not loving God, why? Read on.

I had to attend my Air Force Unit's camp one night and couldn't make it for a church conference. I called my cellgroup leader to inform him, straightaway he said these, "Daniel, I'm upset with you. You do not have a heart for God, you choose to go for your unit's camp instead of going to the House of God."

It was that senseless accusation and many other more to come during my time in that cellgroup.

I carried countless baggages of hurt, mistrust and anger for years even after I had left City
Harvest Church, I thought that by leaving, my problems will be solved. Hell, no. I have been bothered by them up to this time, many times my heart cried out for justice, for an apology from the Christians who hurt me deeply.

I was angry with God and His people, the Christians. I hated them all. I wanted all Christians to go to hell. I hated them to the core.

Still, God is good. He spoke to me through my godmum, my younger sister and some friends that I should not fault every single Christian even though some of them had hurt me deeply.

That night, when I gave up on God and His Church, God spoke to me, "Will you forgive me?". I said, "Yes" but I didn't meant it. I was still angry and bitter.

Earlier on, as I was walking outside my home to a shopping mall, I asked God this, "Dad, can I get to know You from the start all over again? Before all this mess happened."

His reply, "Yes son."

Its either I choose to continue hating Christians for life or get my life picked up again from scratch.

I choose to forgive every single Christian who had had hurt me, accused me, and called me names.

I forgive my first Church for kicking me out because "I would stumble younger believers" due to my possession problems.

I forgive my second Church for being a place of hurt, judgement and mistrust.

It's poison to my soul when I held onto all these baggages. God told me this, "Give Me your baggages son, let Me carry them for you."

I now realized what it meant when Jesus said that, "It is finished!".

My hurts, shame, bitterness and anger all end on the Cross tonight.

I pray for strength to know my Heavenly Father again as well as His people.