A Million People, In The End Its Just One Me

There can be a million people out there who have the most of friends, the most of talents, the most of abilities and the most of life.

They can have everything working out together for them all the time and be the envy of those not doing so well as them be it in career, relationships or even finances.

My point? You can be a continent with so much for you yet you will never know what it means to be living with yourself.

I myself am an island. A island in a bay of islands, most of the time I keep things to myself and do not really like going out with the crowds. Does that make me anti-social? Yes I guess.

Still, none of that matters. I learnt that you can have so many friends and connections in your life but you are still alone in the end.





I tried to be a colour pencil, fitting into a box of colour pencils. Many times, I just don't fit in with people who are so happening.

I don't fit in at rock concerts.

I don't fit in at parties.

I don't fit in with the hip and cool.

I don't fit in with the religious.

I don't fit in with the norm.

I am a jigsaw puzzle that hasn't yet fitted into any of the puzzles of life.

Should I be depressed over this? Hell, no. Why should I let myself get so affected by the things going on in the lives of those around me? Why the hell should I be so concerned with others when none of them were ever concerned with me?

I regret ever being so good to those who make use of me, I regret ever being so kind to those selfish bastards.

There's one thing I will never regret: Choosing my path in life.

Choosing to be who I am today. I may not be eloquent, good looking or even that sociable, but I am me.

My characteristics? Know me for at least 5 years and you may see some light.


I'm totally aghast at people who I considered my friends who never once was there for me when I needed them. I will never be the same again. I curse and swear more now then I ever did. I love to say things I feel on my blog that will offend people. I love to dislike people who I simply can't stand. I am not the "sweet and kind young boy" people loved to use for their own gain. All I ask is I don't want to hear the people I love the most telling me that they will always be there for me, but when I turn back, no one's there.

I am so damn scared I will be alone when I'm old. I am so so damn scared I will never get to be an important part of anyone's life. I admit, I'm feeling totally lost now with what happened in my life. I want to get to know whose my real friends and whose not, I want to be important to anybody, if not somebody.

Shit, lol, I am so totally pouring out my heart right now. Hell, this is my blog and I like to put whatever my mind wants to here. I sincerely apologise to my blog readers for some negative changes in my life, but who here doesn't have a bad hair day?

I just want to give up, and let the enemy take my life away. He's been giving me tempting offers in exchange for some peace from all this tumultousness going on. People think I made the wrong choice to leave church, but I'm even more glad now that I did.

I see the truth behind empty words, empty promises and empty friendships.

Hell, lol, I've been having more demonic dreams now than in the past, don't tell me I need some deliverance. I don't need spiritual advice from "holy" people. Right down I'm damn scared I'll lose this fight and having to go through all the hell I've been through years back. I don't want to have people telling me that something is wrong with me, they themselves have "so much going for them."

I'll fight alone if I have to, I feel damn tired, but I'm glad I'm still going on.

(C) 2006,2007,2008,2009 Absolutely Daniel Yoleh.