A coward will run and give up, you ARE NOT a coward. You ARE a victor in Christ. All your sins, mistakes, failures and despair were seen by Him on the Cross. Don't let Him die in vain.
"because those who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God." - Romans 8:14 (NIV)
The Presence of God is there in your room night after night, what the heck are YOU doing? Playing games still?! Still wallowing in your self-doubt and pity?! Get up and start PRAYING!